This is going to be odd timing for this post indeed.

I have a lot on my mind no doubt but this is something that started as a whisper in my mind.

Until it started screaming.

This is a post straight up to my Pops. (that's how I have him in my phone)

I got to be blessed to be around camp this past weekend and will be up there recurrently until I start working there this summer after our late graduation (I have to shout to you guys to remind you I miss you and cannot wait to meet all of you fully, especially my fellow guys counselors)

But back to the point. I was talking to a fellow male counselor during "one-on-one" time and our dads both came up and he and his dad had disagreements about this and that. I could agree with him fully. The thing is...

I didn't want to. Everyone dreams of that "dad" where something goes wrong and you head to the driving range, or the back yard to play catch and talk about it. The dad who drops everything and says "lets go kick it, you feel like shootin stuff?" (not people of course, targets or deer, mmm, deer)

I could take the time to think about how I didn't have all of that. Just some guy that I didn't agree with and came into my life when I was about 8 years old.

That would be teaching myself how to paint lies as truth, continually taking this beautiful truth paint I've been given, and trying to use a foul brush of lies and my selfishness to illustrate my feelings.

I'm sure now that I've carried you this deep into the post (assuming you read it all), we should start seeing the shift. What the real truth is.

My Pops is a rockstar. I miss him so much right now. Being gone for two weeks is ridiculous. We don't even talk that much around the house. It's just his presence. Just knowing if the bad guys come, someone is going to jail that night and when they arrive in the cell the other prisoners will exchange looks thinking "what happened to him?"

This stud of a Pops fresh out of college took on my mom and three kids, myself included in that. How many people can handle that fresh out of college and succeed? Not many.

I picked up a book by Donald Miller called To Own A Dragon about growing up without a father, which Miller did. Yes I realize in the midst of a post about my Pops it's odd to bring up a book about growing up without a father. I picked it up moreso because it discusses the importance of good realtions with your father and this and that. It's next on my list.

I want my college years to be more about getting along, it seems to be a fitting time seeing as finances are going to be...questionable, with Concordia St. Paul and such in the future.

I hope he reads it after me as well, from the stories I've heard it sounds like he got jipped out of a childhood.

I am not saying this to judge any fathers of any sort. Being a dad is one of the most honorable things any man can do. If they do it well.

This is more of a note to my Pops, that I love you. I want to be able to talk and hang when I come back from school, if and when that happens. I'm still in the air about that.

Come back home, you are missed.

Much Love

ø Connor ø